it kinda freaks me out. the fact that once i let out the words, things were never the same. the fact that a long time ago i thought i had love figured out, when actually all i was doing was playing the fool and thinking the world ended too soon. it freaks me out thinking about all i risked, but not the way i always thought. because today i realized that i risked my own beliefs. my own perspective of things. it's like all this time life has been teaching me what real love is. maybe that's why. maybe this is the answer to the eternal question. maybe love isn't what i found that one day and thought was perfect. maybe love was fighting. maybe love was disappointment and forgiveness and words and actions. maybe all these years were showing me what real love is. offering different perspectives. different kinds of love. different people. maybe love was always more than the simple instant. and maybe that's why i always feel upset about it. because i think of it as a totally different experience. because i always thought love was easy, and quick, and momentary. i always thought of it as a one night stand, but i never really put it on the 'has to last forever' category. maybe that's my answer.
all this time. i've been looking for it in all the wrong places.
could it be true? could this be a lesson?